Thursday, October 11, 2007

Beat the Doc: Sundays With Dr. Pauly

Back in 2005 when it was called "Saturdays with Dr. Pauly," yours truly ended up as the series' overall "Gigli" mainly due to being less than half-conscious during the early morning weekend tournament start times for us West Coasters (I consider 10 AM early and so should you). For my (non) efforts I received a copy of "Poker for Dummies."

Well, I'm not going to let that same fate befall me this time.

Saturdays with Dr. Pauly is BACK. Only this time it's on Sundays. And it involves Fantasy Football, not poker. And as you all now know, I'm a much bigger lucksack when it comes to handicapping players and teams I know little or nothing about than having my hands hold up through the turn and river.

Here's how to enter:

1. The first step to playing in the series is to sign up for a Fantasy Sports Live account. It's so easy even a blonde can do it. Click here to create an account and use bonus code PAULY to get some additional coin upon sign-up. It took me all of five minutes and I funded my account using my American Express card. That's right. American Fucking Express. FSL is 100% legal in the U.S. of A and is free from all those annoying UIGEA restrictions. There will be no trips necessary to bodegas in sketchy neighborhoods to find pre-paid credit cards.

2. Each week's contest costs $10. There will be 10 of them, running from Week 6 to Week 15 of the current NFL season. The top three finishers out of the 10 players in each contest win money ($45, $27, $18).

3. Sign up for any contest that says "Sundays with Dr. Pauly." You get to pick a fantasy team consisting of 1 QB, 3 WRs, 2 RBs, 1 TE, 1 K, and 1 D using a salary cap format. I'm not sure what all those abbreviations mean, but it really shouldn't affect my performance.

4. Even if my beloved is not in your specific contest, you'll still be competing against him and he only gets one entry per week so he can't cheat ;) Everyone is evaluated together on a points system based on their weekly finishes.

5. The top three finishers get prizes. The fourth place finisher gets a booby prize (that unfortunately does not involve actual boobies):

Overall Prizes for Sundays with Dr. Pauly:
1st Place - $100 cash and $50 added to your FSL account
2nd Place - Any football themed DVD of your choice (e.g. Rudy, Any Given Sunday, Brian's Song, Varsity Blues, Friday Night Lights)
3rd Place - a copy of Blind Side by Michael Lewis
4th Place - a phone call from Daddy

Bonus: If you get more points than Pauly in three consecutive weeks, you win an entry into a season ending freeroll with $100 added to the overall prize pool.

Weekly updates will be posted on the Tao of Poker as well as at Blinders' blog.

See you degenerates on Sunday. I'm now going to look up what all those abbreviations mean. And what a "salary cap" is.

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