Monday, July 06, 2009

Suze Orman Meets Dead Money Joe

Suze Orman: OK, next caller. Welcome to "Can I Afford It?" What would you like to buy?

Dead Money Joe: Hi, Suze. I'm Joe from Rockville, MD and I'd like to play the Main Event at the World Series of Poker.

Suze Orman: And what does that cost?

Dead Money Joe: Ten thousand dollars.

Suze Orman: OK, Joe. Tell me a little bit more about your finances.

Dead Money Joe: I'm 34 years old and I take home about $4,500 a month. My mortgage payment is $1,200 and I have two kids. I have about $9,000 in credit card debt and I lease a Honda Accord for $269 a month.

Suze Orman: 401(k)? Savings?

Dead Money Joe: I have a 401(k) but it's lost like 40% this year. I had a savings of about $6,000 but had to use it to pay some medical bills.

Suze Orman: Hold on a minute. You take home $54,000 a year, you're in credit card debt, have no savings and what little investments you had tanked? Where are you going to get the $10,000?

Dead Money Joe: Well I won an $11 satellite on Poker Stars, which got me into a $160 double shootout and then I won two sit 'n goes and got my buy-in.

Suze Orman: What?

Dead Money Joe: Let's just say I won the $10,000 on an $11 investment.

Suze Orman: And you're asking me if you should go gamble that money?

Dead Money Joe: Poker isn't gambling. It's a skill game.

Suze Orman: I don't care what skills you have. YOU CAN'T AFFORD THIS, JOE!

Dead Money Joe: But there's an $8 million first place prize. And it's my lifelong dream. And there is so much dead money in that field.

Suze Orman: No, Joe. You're the dead money. Take that $10,000, wipe out that credit card debt, and you'll almost have enough money to make next month's mortgage payment. Next caller!


DrChako said...

Simply brilliant.


Anonymous said...

Agreed, priceless.

Julius_Goat said...

[insert lame Facebook thumbs up icon] 5,834 people should have liked this.

Pauly said...

Every player considering playing the Main Event that has hesitations should read this post.

clearspine said...

The only fly in the ointment is that Joe will be right back in the same credit card debt situation next year, if he follows Suze's advice. On one level or another, poker players are looking for fast money, and that means they will spend it even if they don't have it, thinking that the big score is just around the corner. BTW Change, thanks for all the great updates on PN!!!!

Unknown said...

But but but ITS THE MAIN EVENT!!!111oneone

To think how many "Joes" are out there doing this right now is sad.

The Shrink said...

Very interesting Change. Now, how many $11 sit-n-go's did you play. How much of the credit card debt is for shoes and how much from the local medicinal maryjane store? Why do you feel your world series goal is more important than your family? Where the hell did you get such a well paying job? and does Pauly know about the kids?

You welcome, that will be $200 and I don't take plastic.

change100 said...

I think it's pretty apparent from what I wrote that if I were in Joe's shoes, I would take the ten grand and do something more financially responsible with the money.

Also, my dispensary does not take credit cards. If it did? Well then I'd be in real trouble.

Unknown said...

How many people do you actually think you're adequately describing? Me thinks about 1%. Perpetual negativity and biting sarcasm has its reasonable limits. Or perhaps you were shooting for farce?

change100 said...

No, Dieter. Me thinks that number is greater than 50%. Most just won't admit it.

And when it comes to the WSOP Main Event... sarcasm is a no-limit game.

Melody said...

Doesn't get closer to the money than this.

Dantana said...

*** if I were in Joe's shoes, I would take the ten grand and do something more financially responsible with the money. ***

perhaps that explains the low women's turnout in the main event this year?

Lucypher said...

It might not be good for the poker economy for this sort of info to get out. Without losers, there can be no winners.

bakeowski said...

take the 10 grand and use 5k for "smart" things and use the rest this way
30 buy ins at borgata gtd weds and fri prize is usually 9k or so, u can play 4 a week....for 3600
1400 for the best weed hat u can lay your hands on
the legendary stuff
the stuff that smokes itself