Tuesday, November 29, 2005

A Brief Guide to Recognizing your Change

Drizz made an excellent suggestion on his blog that those of us new to the WPBT provide a bit of physical self-description before taking off for Sin City next week. Aside from the Murderer's Row gang, I haven't met any of you (and thank G-d that's about to change). There are absoultely no photos of me on the internet that I know of (aside from my old Friendster page, but you'd have to know my real name to find that. Heheh.) So how the fuck are you going to know that the young lady at the bar downing scotch and swearing at the video poker machine is the voice behind Pot Committed?

The easy decision would be to post a photo, but for professional real-life-not-poker-life reasons, I need to keep my secret identity a secret. I work for a relatively high-profile company and for my own creative sanity, I need to maintain the freedom to write whatever the fuck I want on this page, even if some of it could get me fired. That sucks for you all, because I happen to think I'm pretty cute. I'll tell you this, though. I'm not a midget. Or a sober housewife. (Duh).

Ergo, I present this brief guide for my tens of readers who may want to find me next weekend.

I'm 28, but people tell me I look a lot younger. Just ask the box office clerk at the AMC Century 14 who carded me when I went to see JARHEAD last week. The over-under on times I will get carded at the cashier's cage in one weekend is hereby set at 2.5. I'm 5'5ish with long straight strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes and fair, dare I say alabaster skin. I need my geeky tortoiseshell-frame glasses only if I'm driving or sitting in the 2s or 8s. I wear Burberry perfume and dark Joe's Jeans almost every day of my life and typically carry a large pink leather Marc Jacobs purse. If you don't know what those are, just ask JoeSpeaker. I hear he's good with designers.

Or, you could just walk around the Imperial Palace, sniff the air, and follow the pot smell. It'll lead you to my room. Or maybe Daddy's.

As of right now I plan on driving out early Friday morning, hoping for a noonish arrival. I have to depart with enough time to get myself back to Los Angeles by 10:30 Monday morning. Other than that, I have no planned itinerary-- I'm just gonna go with the flow and see where the nights take me. Though I would like to eat a nice meal and get a lap dance at some point.

I'm so fucking excited to meet you all.


EN09 said...

Drizz was pimpin' you over at NickelandDimes so I decided to swing by and see what the shout was about.

I'm impressed you were able to use the words 'fuck' -- AND -- 'ergo' within the same post. Nicely done and certainly deserving of a freshly-packed bowl. Treat yourself!

EDITED: I fucked up the URL to Drizz, ergo, I deleted the original to fix it.

Pinky said...

Much vegas envy. Grrrrr.

Nailed It said...

I'll keep an eye out for you.


Unknown said...

See ya in Vegas!!!!

RadioVegas said...

Sweet, looking forward to meeting you and many others... :)