INT. CHANGE100's CAR, 10 FREEWAY- DAY
Our blonde heroine sits in freeway traffic, a pot pipe on her lap, driving the familiar route to the Bicycle Casino. Introspective music swirls out of the speakers.
CHANGE (V.O.)
Another ladies event. Why do I do this to
myself? I might as well take that hundred
in my wallet and run it through a shredder.
Or use it to feed the homeless. Or buy pot.
Anything but donk it off to some bulldyke
when I overplay A-Q in the first ante level.
Another ladies event. Why do I do this to
myself? I might as well take that hundred
in my wallet and run it through a shredder.
Or use it to feed the homeless. Or buy pot.
Anything but donk it off to some bulldyke
when I overplay A-Q in the first ante level.
BETTER SELF
Well that's no way to go into a tournament.
If you're going to be like that, why not just
turn the car around?
CHANGE
Who the fuck are you?
BETTER SELF
I'm your better self.
CHANGE
Holy shit. I've finally lost it. I'm
hallucinating in narrative decives.
BETTER SELF
It's hardly that dramatic. That dank
Showcase bought you last night is just
a pretty wicked high.
CHANGE
So why are you here?
BETTER SELF
I'm your hallucination. You tell me.
CHANGE
Why am I playing this event? I
should just go down there, get a
story to write about and go home
and watch The Amazing Race.
BETTER SELF
Because you know you're capable of
winning.
CHANGE
But all that ever happens after one of
these things is that I end up sad or on
tilt.
BETTER SELF
Because a good result in one of these
things is important to you. If winning
wasn't so important, then losing would
never hurt.
CHANGE
Well duh, I know that.
BETTER SELF
Of course you do. How else would I
have said it?
CHANGE
Good point.
BETTER SELF
You are so your own worst enemy.
Give yourself a little credit. You
know how to play this game.
And you know you're capable of
outplaying a lot of this field.
CHANGE
Yeah, you're right, you're right I
know you're right.
BETTER SELF
So suck it up and shut off this
whiny fuckin' indie rock and get
yourself ready for this thing.
CHANGE
You don't have to get snippy.
I secretly sort of like Death Cab
for Cutie, which means you do too.
BETTER SELF
Wanna know something?
CHANGE
Sure.
BETTER SELF
I have a feeling you're going to get
back into this car with more dough
than you got out of it with.
CHANGE
Really?
BETTER SELF
Really. Try not to fuck it up, OK?
Well that's no way to go into a tournament.
If you're going to be like that, why not just
turn the car around?
Change SCREAMS and slams on the brakes. Suddenly, there's another blonde riding shotgun. She could be Change's better-rested, more glamorous twin. In fact, she is.
CHANGE
Who the fuck are you?
BETTER SELF
I'm your better self.
CHANGE
Holy shit. I've finally lost it. I'm
hallucinating in narrative decives.
BETTER SELF
It's hardly that dramatic. That dank
Showcase bought you last night is just
a pretty wicked high.
CHANGE
So why are you here?
BETTER SELF
I'm your hallucination. You tell me.
CHANGE
Why am I playing this event? I
should just go down there, get a
story to write about and go home
and watch The Amazing Race.
BETTER SELF
Because you know you're capable of
winning.
CHANGE
But all that ever happens after one of
these things is that I end up sad or on
tilt.
BETTER SELF
Because a good result in one of these
things is important to you. If winning
wasn't so important, then losing would
never hurt.
CHANGE
Well duh, I know that.
BETTER SELF
Of course you do. How else would I
have said it?
CHANGE
Good point.
BETTER SELF
You are so your own worst enemy.
Give yourself a little credit. You
know how to play this game.
And you know you're capable of
outplaying a lot of this field.
CHANGE
Yeah, you're right, you're right I
know you're right.
BETTER SELF
So suck it up and shut off this
whiny fuckin' indie rock and get
yourself ready for this thing.
CHANGE
You don't have to get snippy.
I secretly sort of like Death Cab
for Cutie, which means you do too.
Change pulls into a parking space near the far end of the lot and takes one last toke.
BETTER SELF
Wanna know something?
CHANGE
Sure.
BETTER SELF
I have a feeling you're going to get
back into this car with more dough
than you got out of it with.
CHANGE
Really?
BETTER SELF
Really. Try not to fuck it up, OK?
Better Self disappears in a puff of smoke. Change shakes off the hallucination, and gets out of her car. Ten yards in front of her, a MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN with a bad red dye job waddles toward the casino entrance. A smile spreads across Change's face.
CHANGE
You're mine.
To be continued...
You're mine.
To be continued...
3 comments:
Make McKee proud... more voiceovers!
Oh no! A cliff-hanger! Time to start reloading like a mofo.
Very nice!
Bringon Part Deux!
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