One of Those Days

The minute I got to the Rio this morning, I knew it was going to be one of those days when I found that the crew from 60 Minutes had decided to use my (official reserved) spot in media row as storage for all their equipment. Yes, 60 Minutes is at the WSOP today, shooting footage for a story on all the online poker cheating scandals. Pauly even got up early to go down to the Rio to watch them interview guys like Greg Raymer and Phil Hellmuth. Only thing was, when he got there at the time he was told they were going to start, they were already wrapping up. Methinks CBS and TPTB decided to hoodwink the poker media.

Speaking of the poker media-- if you're fired from a major publication for the worst sin a writer can ever commit (and that's plagiarism in case you're wondering)-- I believe you should have your media badge permanently revoked. Yeah, I'm speaking of someone specific. Let the rampant speculation begin.

Let's talk about good writers for a second. Like my beloved. I was so happy he decided to write for himself and the Tao this year instead of being an official blogging monkey for Poker News like myself-- not only because he's in a FAR better mood/head space than he was during the last two WSOPs, but also as a longtime Tao of Poker fan. Long before I met Pauly, let alone started dating him, I was one of those people firing up the Tao every morning when I got to the office while the WSOP was running just to see who he had pissed next to or what sort of shenanigans were going down at the Hooker Bar. Pauly's writing temporarily lifted the fog of a Monday morning and made me forget just how much I hated my job and everyone I worked with, even for just a few moments a day.

Anyway, of course I'm totally biased, but I think he knocked it out of the park with this one. Check out WSOP Day 18: Never Trust a Junkie. My favorite line? "PLO destroys lives."

I'm covering the $1,500 donkament-of-the-week today. I haven't done one of these yet this year, having drawn assignments on some of the higher buy-in events like last night's $5,000 PLO with Rebuys finale that was won by Phil "OMGClayAiken" Galfond after a 3 1/2 hour heads-up match with Adam "the_houdini" Hourani. I so don't miss covering these tourist-fests that come with crowded hallways, endless lines, and idiot railbirds who come up to me and ask why their brother-in-law/sister/cousin/college roommate isn't in the chip count. I've been going with "Oh, I'm covering another event" or "No speaka thee English" in response.

I'll end this post with an open plea to Phil Hellmuth. Your shtick isn't funny anymore. You're no longer the best hold'em player in the world, I don't care how many fuckin' bracelets you've won. It's getting kind of sad, dude. I used to think there was a nice guy underneath all that hot air, but now it's impossible to separate the "personality" from the man. And all those quotes you try to directly feed to the media? We're just not that interested anymore.

Now if someone had the balls to heckle him at the tables for endorsing UltimateCheat Ultimate Bet, I'd transcribe that shit word for word.

Crankypants Change signing off...