Friday, February 17, 2006

The Family Showcase

If you haven't already, get yourselves over to the Tao of Poker for the grooviest tournament coverage on the web. While I sit here watching the rain, playling online and taking the slacker lifestyle to new heights, Pauly is out at the Commerce Casino working his ass off to bring us all the highlights of the 2006 LA Poker Classic. If there's a spectacular suckout or a quality fistfight, Pauly's gonna have the scoop. Spaceman is also in town, bad back and all, reporting live for Bluff.

Showcase's family is in town today, as they're all about to embark on a week-long family cruise to the Mexican Riviera. His brother, Hoboken, stayed with us last night. He dabbles in poker, so maybe I'll get to angle him into a heads-up match. Showcase's mom is a trip. The epitome of a nervous Jewish mother, it's easy to see where Showcase gets his sharp sense of humor as well as his entire bag of neuroses. Mama Showcase is quite the white-knuckle flier, usually requiring a cocktail of sedatives to get her onto an airplane. A little bit ago she asked me to look up a satellite weather map for the Pacific Coast in order to check the wave conditions. And not for surfing, mind you.

"Are you really doing this to her?" Showcase queried, exasperated.

"I just wanna know if the water's going to be choppy while we're at sea."

"It's a freakin' CRUISE SHIP! You're not going to feel any waves!"

Showcase then sat down with his mom and gave her a tour of his J-Date profile. This, I thought, was a terrible idea. Here's a whole catalogue of potential daughers-in-law, Ma. Take your pick! Naturally they disagreed about almost every lady Showcase pointed out.

"Hey what about this girl?"

"No."

"Tell me, Mom. What is wrong with this girl?"

"She's black."


Mama Showcase would definitely approve of the girl Showcase has been seeing over the last couple of weeks. I met her and I could see us being friends. And she's a nice Jewish girl. Even though it's only been a couple of dates for them, I already have quite a bit riding on this relationship in various prop bets with a certain doctor.
Murderer's Row game tonight. I'm skipping the tourney to have dinner with Showcase's family, but I'll be there in plenty of time for the cash game. Wil was supposed to be making a special appearance, but I've since heard from unidentified sources that his plans have changed.
Pussy.

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